How things are

Lately I have been watching a lot of inspirational films...about homeless people and teenage pregnancy and it just made me think about my own life and what I should be doing with it. I have dreams, but am I really pushing those dreams to there fullest potential. What if BSU declines my acceptance. Then what? What will I be doing. I have no back up plan. I suppose you can say I am just one of those confused adolescents just out of high school. Ones without a care or responsibility. I have a lot of my plate. I am holding my family together.. barely. That's another thought on my mind. FAMILY. What exactly does that mean? If my mom died, I would have no family. I don't even know who my real father is. It's not like I would exactly care, but the not knowing does kill me a little inside. I wish I just knew. Curiosity killed the cat. Knowing would close a huge burden on my life. I wouldn't say I grew up horrible, I would say I grew up confused. Confused on why things were they way they are. It's crazy what some people do.