Confused

Thats the feeling for today. Confused. Incredibly confused. Lauren and I decided there is no point in going back to BSU. We both feel like there is nothing up there anymore. I still want to study up there, but not for the reasons I thought for. All I can say is shit happens.

Unwanted

Thats how I currently feel. unwanted. I have A friend, one thats it. I have "other" friends,but only one. I think I also feel alone. Alone in this vast world. All by myself. I'm just going to keep everything to myself from now on.  I miss everything from last summer. When Laura and I were best friends. I miss that so incredibly much. I miss being in show choir, just so I can tell Mr.Reckner all of my problems and he would somehow make me feel better. I miss that all. I like this new me, but just not my surroundings. I miss Ben too. But that whole thing will never change. I miss everyone. Dan and Keely are dating. Awesome :/. I wanna go to BSU, not to be with them now I am realizing. I wanna go to get away. To get away from everything here. To hopefully solve my problems. Who knows how life will go anymore.

Moving On.

Went to Ball State. Got Drunk. Stayed with Danlange. Extreme Fun. Applied to BSU. Waiting on the answer.Joining the Peace Corps.